


I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb groupchat

by KiiboTheCinnamonRoll



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Comedy, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Is Doing Their Best, Everyone Is Gay, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Gonta and kiibo are innocent, Kokichi is bad with emotions, Love, Miu is not, No Smut, himiko has trust issues, shuichi needs to sleep, tsumugi is tsumugay, wingman kaede, wingman kokichi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-22
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:33:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26053498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiiboTheCinnamonRoll/pseuds/KiiboTheCinnamonRoll
Summary: An alternative universe where the group escaped through the death road of despair during chapter 1 and try to resume their usual chaotic lives.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Harukawa Maki, Chabashira Tenko/Yumeno Himiko, Gokuhara Gonta/Hoshi Ryoma, K1-B0/Saihara Shuichi, Shirogane Tsumugi/Yonaga Angie
Comments: 8
Kudos: 126





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this universe not everything was fiction, the cast’s memories were altered in some ways but pregame doesn’t exist and ultimates do exist.

Kaede has added 15 people to “I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb group chat” 

2:30pm

kaede: Hey Guys! I know it’s been a while since we all talked but I made this group chat for us all! I hope this can be a nice fun experience for all of us :)

Shuichi: I get the intent behind this but did you really have to choose THAT name for this?

Kaede: What’s wrong with it? It’s true.

Miu: I mean we also got a **** load of emotional trauma and spent the last couple months having to readjust to normal life but yeah close enough 

Miu: ok who the **** is censoring this ****

Kaede: that would be me, I got an upperclassman to change the settings so swear words are blocked out. Think of the children Miu.

Miu: literally no one here is a child

Kokichi: it’s me, I’m babey uwu

Kaede: ...I was referring to Gonta and Kiibo. We all know you know swear words kokichi

Kokichi: aww, meanie 

Kiibo: Kaede I think you might be mistaken, me and Gonta are not children?

Kaede: yeah but you’re both babey :)

Kiibo: what?

Shuichi: don’t question it

Kiibo: ok I won’t :)

Shuichi: :)

Kokichi: soooo, why does this chat exist again?

Kaede: well we all promised to stay friends after we escaped that school didn’t we? What better way to do that than using a groupchat?

Miu: maybe by actually meeting up and talking to each other?

Maki: ew no

Kaito: I think it’s a good idea kaede

Kaede: thanks! 

Maki: aren’t we going to all be classmates once school starts though? That makes this kind of pointless

Kaito: Aw cmon maki roll, don’t be like that. Kaede did this so we could all stay in contact outside of school.

Maki: whatever .... thanks kaede I guess 

Kokichi changed maki’s name to ‘Tsundere’ 

Tsundere: **** you 

Gonta: what’s a tsundere?

Tsumugi: DM me, I’ll explain 

Gonta: ok, thank you Tsumugi :) 

Tsumugi: ...korekiyo why are you DMing me too?

Korekiyo: Is it not obvious? I wish to learn more about the concept of ‘tsunderes’ 

Tsumugi: ...fair enough

Angie: sorry for being late! Atua gave me a burst of inspiration for my art so I didn’t check my phone :) 

Kaede: don’t worry about it, what were you working on?

Angie: Tsumugi asked me to draw some fan art for her before and I was just finishing it off. I must say Tsumugi, you have quite the interesting taste in fictional characters :)

Tsumugi: um thanks I guess?

Angie: I added a drawing of you as well to make up for the drawings being late :D 

Tsumugi: that really wasn’t necessary! I didn’t mind waiting, art takes time after all 

Angie: it’d be a waste not to though since I had such a pretty girl as you in mind :)

Tsumugi: hhhkigfedbhiutrbh

Kokichi changed Tsumugi’s name to ‘tsumugay’ 

Tenko changed their name to ‘#1 girl lover’ 

Tsumugay: tenko we know you’re the superior lesbian here stop bragging 

#1 girl lover: just had to assert my authority before anyone else took this name

Kaede: yeah that’s fair, I would’ve taken it if you didn’t 

Kokichi changed kaede’s name to ‘kaegay’ 

Kaegay: thanks 

Himiko: did you have to make this group so early? My phone has been getting so many notifications it woke me up...

Kaegay: it’s 2:30 in the afternoon Himiko 

Himiko: did I ****ing stutter 

#1 girl lover: Himiko! Where did you learn that word

Himiko: miu

Miu: ok in my defence I didn’t realise Himiko was listening when I said it

Kiibo: I do not think Tenko cares what your defence is

#1 girl lover: I sure don’t 

Miu: jokes on you, you can’t kill me. You don’t know where I live 

#1 girl lover: that can change 

Miu: what does that mean?

Miu: TENKO WHAT THE **** DOES THAT MEAN

Miu: Oh shiuiufngftggv

#1 girl lover: it changed :) 

Shuichi: I feel like I should intervene since it’s my job but the pure fear I feel says otherwise 

#1 girl lover: listen to that fear

Himiko: tenko no murder

#1 girl lover: ok Himiko! Don’t worry, I was just going to talk to Miu about her behaviour.

Miu: try sounding less murderous next time then 

Miu: ...

Miu: also get out of my house please 

#1 girl lover: Alright, just remember no swearing in front of Himiko 

Himiko: I already know all the swear words anyway...

#1 girl lover: oh... ok then you can swear all you want Miu 

Miu: **** Yeah 

Himiko: I’m going back to sleep, goodnight 

Himiko has gone offline 

Kaegay: I guess we should stop messaging so we don’t disturb her again then

Kaegay: see you later everyone! 

‘I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb group chat’ has been muted for 2 hours, reason: let Himiko sleep :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group discuss their conflicting memories from the game and sort out living arrangements for the school dorms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it’s not clear enough in the chapter in this au, pregame does not exist here. Ultimates and hopes peak were real but some of the cast’s memories were changed for the sake of the killing game. For the most part their in game memories are real.

‘I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb group chat’   
1:53pm

Rantaro: oh hey, didn’t know this existed 

Kaegay: rantaro! Hi! How’s your leg? you look like you hurt it pretty bad back in the death road of despair.

Rantaro: don’t worry. I’m an adventurer, I’ve had worse injuries 

Shuichi: adventurer? 

Rantaro: oh yeah, guess I never told you.

Rantaro: surprise. I remembered my ultimate talent. I’m the ultimate adventurer. 

Kaegay: that’s great rantaro! I’m glad you remember now :) 

Shuichi: yeah congratulations rantaro 

Rantaro: thanks guys. Took me a while to remember, at first I was convinced I was the ultimate survivor or something, that doesn’t seem to be the case though.

Shuichi: why would you think that?

Rantaro: dunno. I think it was because of a video I was given as a special perk. Recently though I just kinda remembered it was wrong?

Ryoma: huh. Similar experience here. Once I got out of there I found out I wasn’t doomed to stay in prison for life like I remembered, apparently ultimate students have special privileges so I was free as long as I did community service and behaved from now on.

Shuichi: hopes peak may be a prestigious school but it really doesn’t care about the law huh? I guess they have enough money and influence to do what they want

Korekiyo: Pardon my interruption but I believe I have had a similar experience.

Shuichi: what do you mean? 

Korekiyo: While we were trapped within that school I seemed to believe some... rather strange things about my sister. One of those beliefs was that she was dead. However recently I found that she is alive and well, even so she is.... much different to how I thought she was.

Miu: we know you’re a weirdo but wow forgetting your own sister is alive is a new level of being a dumb*** 

Kaegay: MIU

Miu: what? It’s true.

Kaegay: yeah but it’s rude! 

Shuichi: ....you aren’t denying it though kaede

Korekiyo: anyway, although she is far better than I remembered I do not feel comfortable staying in the same house as her. I know that we shall be moving into the school’s dorms soon but until then is it alright if I stay with someone else?

Rantaro: Yeah sure man. You can stay at my house until then, I’m sure my sisters would love to meet you.

Korekiyo: you also have sisters? 

Rantaro: Yup, 12 of em 

Miu: 12!?! I can barely deal with one! 

Korekiyo: that is a rather large amount? Would there even be room in the house for that many people?

Rantaro: don’t worry about that, the house has plenty of room. You can stay in one of the guest rooms :)

Miu: ****ing rich kid 

Korekiyo: thank you rantaro, if it is alright may we also share a dorm once school starts? Since we need to pair up I think it’d be best to stay with someone like you.

Rantaro: why someone like me?

Korekiyo: you’re one of the more sane people here

Rantaro: fair enough 

Kaegay: oh yeah! We still need to agree on pairs for the dorms!

Kokichi: I claim shumai!

Shuichi: absolutely not

Shuichi: Kiibo do you want to be my roommate?

Kiibo: of course :)

Kokichi: ouch 

Kaito: I claim Ryoma! 

Ryoma: Yeah sure, doesn’t sound too bad 

Kaito: :D 

Miu: I want the cleaning lady! 

Kirumi: as you wish 

Kirumi: *****

Miu: oh my god she swore 

Kirumi: oh dear, that was meant to only be sent to kaede 

Miu: wow so you’re gonna complain about me behind my back?

Kirumi: I know you’re going to complain about me to my face once we live together.

Miu: I- 

Miu: ...fair enough

Kokichi: aw looks like I’m stuck with Gonta 

Gonta: Gonta happy to spend time with kokichi :)

Ryoma: quick warning, upset Gonta and you’re dead 

Kokichi changed ryoma’s name to ‘wii Sports tennis’

Wii sports tennis: not a bad name but the threat still stands 

Kokichi: Understandable 

Wii sports tennis changed kokichi’s name to ‘grape king’

Grape king: huh, you actually gave me a nice name. Maybe I’d let you join my secret organisation :)

Wii sports tennis: no thanks kid

#1 girl lover: Himiko please be my roommate!!!

Himiko: nyeh... sorry but me and Angie already agreed to be roommates...

Angie: Yup! Sorry tenko, better luck next time 

#1 girl lover: oh

Tsumugay: don’t worry tenko, I can be your roommate :)

#1 girl lover: thanks Tsumugi :)

Tsumugay: no problem tenko

Kaegay: I guess that leaves me and you maki

Maki: I guess. You aren’t the worst roommate at least.

Kaegay: thanks?

Kiibo: everyone make an effort to remember who you are paired up with, Hopefully we can all have an enjoyable school life together :)

Grape king changed kiibo’s name to tin can

Tin can: :(

Shuichi: be nice kokichi!

Shuichi changed tin can’s name to ‘Kiibo <3’

Kiibo <3: ?

Kiibo <3: what is the <3 for?

Shuichi: oh it’s nothing! I just added it to show we care about you that’s all

Kiibo <3: Oh I see, so it’s a way to show that you care. Well in that case

Kiibo <3 changed shuichi’s name to ‘shuichi <3’

Kiibo <3: :)

Shuichi <3: h

Shuichi <3 has gone offline

Kiibo <3: ?

Tsumugay: f in the chat for our fallen simp 

Kaegay: f

Rantaro: f

Wii sports tennis: f

Kirumi: F

Korekiyo: f

Angie: f!

#1 girl lover: no

Gonta: f?

Kaito: f

Maki: no

Miu: f

Himiko: f...

Tsumugay: f

Grape king: what a loser :p

Tsumugay: Rude >:(

Tsumugay has muted the chat for one minute, reason: moment of silent for our fallen simp


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Korekiyo is a bad roommate and Kiibo and tenko are completely oblivious as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These first few chapters have been mostly used to get in plot points but from now on it should get better hopefully.

‘I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb group chat’  
2:00am

Rantaro: this is a callout post for korekiyo shinguji, quit stealing all the salt for your little rituals I need to season my food somehow 

Korekiyo: and I need to perform rituals somehow, the salt is necessary

Rantaro: If you’re going to summon demons can you at least stop inviting my sisters to help? I don’t want them getting in danger

Korekiyo: but they seem to enjoy helping with them, especially the youngest sister

Rantaro: she’s 5, she doesn’t even know who Satan is (by the way could you at least only try summoning less dangerous entities in my house >:/), she just sees you drawing on the floor and wants to join in

Korekiyo: fine, I will no longer involve them in my seances 

#1 girl lover: ugh. Of course you’d drag innocent girls into your creepy ghost summoning things

Himiko: nyeh....seances are fun sometimes

#1 girl lover: You take part in seances?!

#1 girl lover: I’m sorry I called them creepy! 

Himiko: you don’t have to apologise for your opinion :/

#1 girl lover: sorry 

Himiko: :|

Himiko changed their name to ‘#1 mage’

#1 mage: :)

#1 mage: I’m gonna take a nap now, goodnight 

#1 girl lover: goodnight Himiko!!! <3

Kiibo <3: I see you added a <3 there. Is it to show friendly appreciation for Himiko? :)

#1 girl lover: are

#1 girl lover: are you kidding me

#1 girl lover: I could literally not be any more obvious

Kiibo <3: ??

#1 girl lover: I like her

Kiibo <3: as a friend?

#1 girl lover: istg you may be one of my closest friends but you’re dumb as hell sometimes

Kiibo <3: :(

#1 girl lover: I’m sorry but it’s true

Kaegay: normally I would say you aren’t dumb but in this case I really can’t, literally everyone knows tenko likes Himiko. Even Himiko knows. 

#1 girl lover: she does?

Kaegay: Yes?

#1 girl lover: hujfgbfysfthhrr

Shuichi <3: you broke her

Grape king: says you robo simp

Kiibo <3: what is a simp?

Grape king: well a simp is-

Shuichi <3 has muted grape king for 1 hour, reason: shut up

1:45pm  
Private messages between Maki and Kaede

Kaede: Hey! I wanted to ask when would be a good time to come over to the orphanage :)

Maki: what are you talking about?

Kaede: we planned for me to visit and play piano while we were still in the killing game remember?

Maki: oh yeah. You should be able to come this Monday if you want

Kaede: great! I’ll definitely be there!

Maki: I’ll clean the piano before you get there, it hasn’t been used in a while so it’s pretty dusty

Kaede: thanks maki! You’re pretty sweet behind your grumpy exterior :)

Maki: shut up. Why did you even spend so much time with me in the killing game anyway?

Kaede: hmm 

Kaede: maybe because you’re cute? ;3

Maki: the real reason please

Kaede: ok ok, I thought maybe if I got to know you better I’d understand why you act tough.

Maki: and did you understand?

Kaede: I think so

Maki: what was your conclusion?

Kaede: it feels like you’re getting sort of defensive?

Maki: tell me what your conclusion was kaede

Kaede: um ok? I came to the conclusion that you act tough because you’re scared to admit if you care about someone because you feel like they’ll leave eventually? I mean kids don’t stay at orphanages forever so maybe you act distant because you know they’ll leave someday or something?

Maki: ...

Kaede: am I wrong?

Maki: ...nope, you’re absolutely right. That’s exactly it.

Kaede: oh great I was correct :)

Kaede: looks like I really did get to know you better then. 

Maki: ...yeah

Maki: ...I’m not feeling too well, I think I’ll log off for now

Kaede: oh, ok maki! See you soon

Maki: yeah, see you soon

Maki puts her phone down next to her with a sigh. “You don’t understand at all...” The words slipped out without her thinking. Of course she wouldn’t understand, there’s no way she possibly could understand the truth without knowing what Maki’s talent really is. If she knew would she even want to get to spend time with her? No. Of course not......no one can ever know the truth... KAEDE can never know the truth.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a short chapter featuring the class night owls.

‘I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb group chat’  
3:00am

Himiko: Hey Tsmoogs 

Tsumugay: Yeah?

Himiko: wanna come watch anime at my house with me? I found some good ones

Tsumugay: at 3am?

Himiko: Ye 

Tsumugay: shouldn’t you be asleep?

Himiko: nyeh I cant help it if I have more mana at night...

Tsumugay: you should probably work on fixing that sleep schedule of yours

Himiko: but that’d take effort :/

Tsumugay: ...alright I’m coming over. I’m going to make sure you get some sleep still though 

Himiko: sounds good

Tsumugay: i’ll help you bring your stuff over to the school dorms in the morning too if you’d like? It’d probably be too much work for just you

Himiko: nyeh, thanks tsmoogs :) 

Tsumugay: no problem Himiko!

Shuichi <3: why are you guys still awake???

Korekiyo: why are you surprised shuichi? You are already aware of the class night owls are you not?

Shuichi <3: well yeah but I forgot Tsumugi and Himiko were night owls

Kaegay: yeah they seem like they’d get a good amount of sleep

Shuichi <3: kaede!? Why are you still awake???

Kaegay: oh I can’t sleep well most nights so I stay up playing piano until I fall asleep :) 

Shuichi <3: god we all need better sleep schedules don’t we?

Kiibo <3: yes, shuichi is correct you all do need more sleep >:/

Shuichi <3: why are you awake too!?!?

Kiibo <3: can’t sleep 

Shuichi <3: why not? Are you just not tired right now?

Kiibo <3: no I mean I literally can not sleep

Shuichi <3: Oh 

Kaegay: k guys I’m heading to sleep now, shuichi, korekiyo, Himiko and Tsumugi all of you get some rest please 

Tsumugay: ok kaede!

Himiko: no 

Tsumugay: >:/

Himiko: ....

Himiko: Maybe 

Tsumugay: better 

Korekiyo: I shall consider it

Shuichi <3: I would but I have to finish up writing some detective work for next week... sorry.

Kiibo: please shuichi?

Shuichi <3: ...

Shuichi <3: work can wait, goodnight guys 

Shuichi <3 has gone offline

Kaegay: simp

Kaegay: anyway goodnight :)

Kaegay has gone offline 

Tsumugay has gone offline

Himiko has gone offline 

Korekiyo has gone offline 

Kiibo <3: I guess I’ll get my stuff ready for moving into the dorms tomorrow 

Kiibo <3 has gone offline


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow this chapter has actual not texting parts. And this chapter is like a month late.

I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb group chat   
8:30am  
#1 mage <3: Hey @everyone Tsmoogs told me to remind you all to pack your stuff. 

#1 girl lover: oh yeah! We’re moving into the dorms today! I’m super excited!

Tsumugay: Himiko put down your phone and help me please. It’s you stuff we’re putting away :/

#1 mage <3: fiiine 

Tsumugay: good :) 

Kaegay: don’t forget to pack your own stuff too Tsumugi! 

Tsumugay: don’t worry, I will. I’m just going to help Himiko out first.

Kiibo <3: does anyone require my assistance? I have already finished packing my stuff.

Shuichi <3: I could use a little help

Kiibo <3: Alright, I’ll be at your house in half an hour

Shuichi <3: see you then :)

Kiibo <3 has gone offline

Tsumugay: ooh a date already? ;)

Shuichi <3: shouldn’t you be helping Himiko right now?

Tsumugay: oh yeah, I almost forgot

Tsumugay has gone offline

“Hey tsmoogs...... little help here?”  
Looking up from her phone, Tsumugi noticed Himiko struggling with a particularly heavy looking box.

“Ah, of course Himi!”  
Dropping her phone down on the sofa, she rushed over to lift the other end of the box. She could see why Himiko needed help carrying this, it was super heavy!   
“Wh-what’s even in this thing!?”

“Just a few things for my magic.... wands, nice capes.... a cauldron.”

“A cauldron?! No wonder it weighs so much!”

“Well I can’t just leave it behind.” She mumbles.  
As they passed by the sofa Himiko suddenly stopped and let out a quiet “

“Huh? Is something wrong Himiko?”

“What anime is that from? Looks cool?”

“What do you mean-“ Oh.... Oh shit. She must’ve forgotten to change her phone case after the killing game, it still proudly displayed the Team Danganronpa logo. The phone case had been a gift for joining the team and she hadn’t taken it off ever since she got it.... that would have to change as soon as she could buy a new one.   
“It’s just something I picked up from the store to replace my old one. I don’t know what it’s from.”

That lie seemed to be enough to satisfy Himiko and she turned back to the task at hand. It confirmed one thing for Tsumugi, everything to do with Danganronpa had to go... she’d put a lot of hard work into writing up all those scripts though... Well, maybe she wouldn’t have to completely destroy everything? Yeah, she could just hide it somewhere! That way she could keep what she worked hard for and avoid being questioned any further, a complete win.

“Tsooooooogggsss....” came a long, drawn out whine from Himiko “you’re daydreaming again...”

Tsumugi quickly got back to her side of the task at hand “sorry himi! Let’s finish packing quick so we can watch more anime ok?”

Himiko latched onto the new topic change immediately and started discussing her favourite anime with more energy than she’d usually have in a full day, her enthusiasm almost infectious as Tsumugi joined in with her friend’s rambles. Maybe a life without danganronpa wouldn’t be so bad afterall...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually remembered himiko’s username this time, yay. I should probably write it down somewhere.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> random conversations and pets :)

‘I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb groupchat’  
8:03am

Wii sports tennis: Kaito I am not a violent man but if I hear you snore one more time I’m about to be 

Kaito: Hey I do not snore!

Wii sports tennis: well it certainly wasn’t me or Mr Snuggles

Kaito: Oh is that what the cat’s called? I didn’t realise you had a cat, thought it was a stray

Wii sports tennis: Kaito it’s been in our dorm the entire time and you didn’t realise it was my cat???

Kaito: I dunno, just didn’t think you were much of a cat person

Wii sports tennis: Why the hell would I be bringing cat toys and cat food as some of my prized possessions if I didn’t own and like cats?

Tsundere: You have a cat too?

Grape king: wow, who knew the secret to getting miss Edgelord to talk was mentioning cats 

Grape king has changed Tsundere’s name to Miss Edgelord

Miss Edgelord: Im going to kill you

Grape king: I’d like to see you try :p

Wii sports tennis: Hey Maki, can I come over? I wanna see your cat. I’ll bring Mr Snuggles?

Grape king: what sort of a name is Mr Snuggles?

Wii sports tennis: therapist told me I should name him something that makes me smile when I say it

Miss Edgelord: Sure, come on over. I’m sure Pumpkin and Mr Snuggles will get along well

Miss Edgelord: Be quiet while you’re here though. Kaede is asleep.

Wii sports tennis: Alright, I’m on my way

Kaito: She’s still asleep? She seemed to me like the type to wake up early

Miss Edgelord: she was up playing piano until 3am last night, apparently she couldn’t get to sleep

Tsumugay: oh that’s why I could hear music

#1 mage: I liked it... it helped me fall asleep faster than usual

Tsumugay: that’s good :)

Miss Edgelord: Sorry that your dorms are both next to ours, you’ll probably be hearing a lot of late night piano

Tsumugay: We Don’t mind. It’s helping Himiko sleep and I usually listen to music to fall asleep too anyway

#1 mage: she listens to the ending theme songs of animes :)

Tsumugay: they can be pretty relaxing and peaceful sometimes

#1 mage: Angie says she doesn’t mind either, she slept right through it all...

Tsumugay: Tenko was just happy to hear Kaede doing something she loves so I don’t think she’s bothered 

Gonta: Gonta just woke up! Can Gonta come meet the cats? :)

Wii sports tennis: Sure you can

Miss Edgelord: I guess

Gonta: :D

Gonta: can Gonta bring bug friend?

Miss Edgelord: you can bring one but only if you keep it out of reach of the cats and away from Kaede

Gonta: ok :)

#1 mage: I would bring my tiger cub but she’s shy....

#1 girl lover: you own a tiger cub? So cute!

#1 mage: she’s my familiar.... every good mage needs an assistant. I can’t keep her in the school dorms though :(

Kaito: then where do you keep her?

#1 mage: One of my friends looks after animals and offered to look after her. You’ve probably seen him around school.

Grape king: the guy that looks like a vampire?

#1 mage: that’s him

Gonta: oh you mean Gundham? :)

Gonta: Gundham and Gonta are best friends :D

Tsumugay: oh my god that’s adorable 

#1 mage: he helps me with my magic, sometimes me, gundham, korekiyo and gundham’s princess friend do rituals together

Korekiyo: Indeed we do

Grape king: sounds fun, can I join? :3

#1 mage: if we need a sacrifice I’ll call you....

Grape king: wow rude

Korekiyo: kokichi it is rather obvious you intend to disturb our rituals rather than assist

Grape king: ya got me :p

Kaito: by rituals you just mean pretend rituals right? No actual ghost summoning or whatever right?

Grape king: what’s wrong space man? Are you scared? :3

Kaito: no! Of course not! Just wondering if it’s allowed in the school rules Yknow, just asking

Grape king: oh yeah that’s tooootally believable 

Grape king: hey just wondering, is forging documents to become an astronaut allowed in astronaut rules? Yknow, just asking :)

Kaito: **** you

Grape king: love you too ^3^

Korekiyo: to answer your question Kaito, it is not pretend rituals. We have successfully contacted spirits before

#1 mage: I got one to help me with my maths homework :)

Korekiyo: once again Himiko, that is not a valid reason for a ritual. The point is to gain knowledge from them

#1 mage: yeah and I gained maths knowledge so what’s the problem?

Korekiyo: >:(

Grape king: oooh is Korky grumpy?

Korekiyo has muted the chat for 1 hour, reason: **** you, respect spirits >:(


	7. Chapter 7

‘I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb group chat’  
2:32pm

Grape king: Ow what the **** Kiibo!?

Kaegay: did something happen?

Grape king: yes! I was just minding my own business and Kiiboy threw me ó~ò

Grape king: soooo mean T~T

#1 girl lover: that is so not true!

Kaegay: So Kiibo didn’t throw him?

#1 girl lover: oh no he definitely threw him but it was Kokichi’s fault!

Grape king: How was it my fault? I’m just an innocent little angel ówò

#1 girl lover: you were trying to scare Kiibo! I saw you sneaking up on him wearing some dumb spooky mask!

Grape king: it was just a little joke, he didn’t need to throw me :(

Kaegay: I didn’t think Kiibo was even capable of throwing someone

#1 girl lover: he is now that I’ve started teaching him neo aikido :)

#1 girl lover: I was just teaching him how to do throws, we agreed that if I snuck up on him he’d use the throw as practice. He must’ve thought you were me

Kiibo <3: I am so sorry kokichi!

Grape king: no you’re not Úwù

Kiibo <3: I am!

Grape king: if you’re really sorry could you teach me neo aikido? Owo

#1 girl lover: absolutely not! A degenerate male like you doesn’t deserve to be taught such a great skill!

Grape king: then how come kiiboy gets to learn it? :(

#1 girl lover: because he’s not a degenerate

Grape king: but he’s a male

#1 girl lover: the only good male

Gonta: :(

#1 girl lover: one of the only good males, gonta’s good too

Gonta: :)

Grape king: what makes them so special >:/

#1 girl lover: Kiibo is my best friend and Gonta is Gonta

Kaegay: she’s got a point, you can’t hate Gonta

Grape king: how did you even become besties with robo boy anyway?

#1 girl lover: I offered to teach him how to fight when I saw how much you bother him a while ago and realised he was decent company

Grape king: so you befriended him out of dislike for me? Ówò

#1 girl lover: yes

Grape king: you’re welcome :3

Kiibo <3: I don’t think you can really take the credit for her choosing to befriend me

Grape king: I can and will take the credit tin can >:p

Kiibo <3: :(

#1 girl lover: 3

Grape king: ****

#1 girl lover: 2

Grape king: mooommmm hide meeeee!

Kirumi: I’m busy kokichi

#1 girl lover: 1

Grape king: at least call an ambulance I think I’m gonna need it!

#1 girl lover: look behind you kokichi

Grape king: what?

Grape king: oh fu-

Kiibo <3: no killing him please tenko :(

#1 girl lover: I won’t, I just took his phone off of him

#1 girl lover: he can have it back later, once he takes some time to think about what he said

Kaegay: you’re very terrifying sometimes tenko

#1 girl lover: I am? I didn’t mean to scare you kaede!

Kaegay: it’s ok :)

Kaegay: just maybe try not to make it sound like you’re going to kill him so often

#1 girl lover: I’ll try

Kaegay: could you teach me neo aikido sometime? :)

#1 girl lover: of course! I’d be honoured to teach such a pretty girl neo aikido!

Kaegay: and i’d be honoured to be taught by such a pretty girl :)

#1 girl lover: hiyrfcdghyrffvgfrfdr

Kaegay: Hey @Miss Edgelord

Miss Edgelord: what do you want?

Kaegay: do you want to learn neo aikido with us?

Miss Edgelord: why are you asking me?

Kaegay: I thought it might be nice to have another pretty girl there ;p

Miss Edgelord: pretty?

Kaegay: yeah you’re super pretty!

Miss Edgelord has gone offline

Kaegay: did I say something wrong?

Tsumugay: ooooh I sense a tsundere~

#1 mage: would that make Kaede the protagonist?

Tsumugay: absolutely. The tsundere always falls for the protagonist!

Kaegay: I don’t think she’s fallen for me you guys

#1 mage: yet

Tsumugay: yet

Korekiyo: yet

Kaegay: you too Korekiyo?!

Korekiyo: I observe people well enough to be an ultimate, it is only natural I could spot a potential relationship with ease

Tsumugay: that’s just fancy talk for you shipping people

Korekiyo: correct

Korekiyo: do you by any chance have a favourite ship Tsumugi?

Tsumugay: I’m glad you asked!!! :))))

#1 mage has muted the chat for 1 hour. Reason: trust me on this you don’t wanna see how long she can talk about her ships


	8. Chapter 8

‘I survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb groupchat’

9:34am

Kaito: HHHFGHJJUGGTTFUUYGG

Kaito: GUYS ITS SNOWING

Kaito: SNOWW

Kaito: @everyone

Kaito: @everyone

Kaito: @everyone 

Kaito: EVERYONE ITS SNOW

shuichi <3: in March???

Kaito: SNO

Kaegay: Maki what the heck??

miss Edgelord: he was getting annoying

Shuichi <3: what happened??

Kaegay: I just saw Maki go outside and knock Kaito out in one hit???

Miss Edgelord: he’ll be fine

Kaegay: how are you even strong enough to do that? 

Miss Edgelord: I work out often

Shuichi <3: really? Maybe you could join me and Kaito in our training sometime?

Miss Edgelord: why would I do that?

Shuichi <3: Well don’t tell Kaito I said this but he kind of slacks off during his own training sessions. I feel like if you were there you’d be able to get him to reach the goals he sets

Miss Edgelord: I guess...

Kaegay: sounds fun! I’ll go with you if you’d like Maki? :)

Miss Edgelord: I don’t care, come if you want to.

Kaegay: I will :)

Kaegay: We can discuss this more tomorrow can’t we Maki?

Miss Edgelord: Yeah I guess we can 

Grape king: ooooh~ a date?

Miss Edgelord: shut up

Kaegay: oh it’s not a date, Maki just invited me to do weekly piano performances for the orphanage since the kids seemed to love the first one.

Kaegay: I was thinking of teaching the kids some simple songs this time. What do you think Maki?

Miss Edgelord: that sounds nice. I’m sure the kids will love it

Kaegay: great :)

Kaito: hhyffvguffbftyyg

Miss Edgelord: he woke up fast

Kaito: Maki roll why :(

Miss Edgelord: I never said you could call me that 

Kaegay: Aww is that a nickname for you Maki? That’s cute :)

#1 mage: Nyeh sounds tasty -w-

#1 mage: now I’m hungry... -n-

#1 girl lover: I’ll make some tasty pie for you Himiko!

#1 mage: I don’t want pie....

Private message between Tsumugay and #1 girl lover

Tsumugay: psst, ask if she wants chicken nuggets

’i survived a bear attack and all I got was this dumb groupchat’

#1 girl lovers: uhh do you want chicken nuggets?

#1 mage: I was just telling Tsumugi I wanted some. how’d you know? :0

#1 girl lover: lucky guess?

#1 girl lover: I’ll go make some in the school’s kitchen right now!

#1 mage: I’ll come with you... gotta make sure you don’t burn them

#1 mage has gone offline 

private message between Tsumugay and #1 girl lover

#1 girl lover: hhgfyffgttt thank you Tsumugi!

Tsumugay: no problem. Enjoy your chicken nugget date

#1 girl lover: I will!

#1 girl lover has gone offline 

Rantaro: chicken nuggets actually sounds pretty good rn. Any of y’all who want chicken nuggets come with me. I’ll pay for it all. 

Kaegay: where are we meeting up?

Rantaro: all of you meet me in the courtyard in 5 minutes, we’ll go buy chicken nuggets somewhere. I know a nice desserts shop too, we can stop off there after :)

Everyone has gone offline 


End file.
